How do I say this delicately? I have a student that seems to have a crush on me.
While I expected my younger cohorts to have this issue, I didn’t expect it to happen to me. I’m old enough to be this kid’s mom (or maybe even grandma…in the South).
At first, he just followed me around. Every morning he appears in the classroom. As I sit behind my desk preparing for the day, he talks to me incessantly. One morning was especially weird.
“Good morning Mrs. P.”
“Good morning Jack.”
“Did you watch tv last night?” he asked.
“No. I didn’t get a chance to watch tv last night,” I replied.
“Okay. Well…I was just wondering,” Jack remarked.
I smile politely and go back to prepping my lesson for the day.
“Mrs. P.”
“Yes, Jack?”
“Is it Ms. or Mrs. P.?”
“It’s Mrs. P.”
“Lucky guy.”
*Screechhhhhh!*
Hit the brakes! What did he just say? Did I hear him correctly? Does he realize what he just said? The questions run like a freight train through my mind.
“Lucky guy,” Jack repeats.
Seriously? He said it again! He has to know what he is saying. Is he flirting with me? Oh my gosh! Panic sets in as I realize that no one else is around.
Time is passing slowly as my head spins wondering what I’m going to say in response.
Another student enters the room. The melodic tune of “Hallelujah” comes over my internal speaker in my head. It certainly served to disrupt that quick awkward feeling, but it didn’t resolve it. Now, I’m left wondering if I should say something and nip this creepiness right away. Has too much time passed? Is it now even creepier for me to address it? What will the other student think? What if they misinterpret what I’m saying to Jack? Ugh! My head hurts, and I feel sick.
Without saying a word, I leave the room and head to the copy machine. I continue to question myself as to how I should have handled the situation in the five-second period that it happened. It was as if all of my training had vanished in the moment. Then, I realized the importance of shutting down comments like that as soon as they happen–If not for me, but for other people who may feel uncomfortable with such comments. While I’m well-versed in the “me too” movement, it was a second of being caught off-guard that prevented me from educating Jack on how his comment made me feel uncomfortable.
As I walked back into the room, Jack sat his desk. Additional students had entered the room. I leaned over to Jack and said, “Your comment that my husband is a ‘lucky guy’ made me feel uncomfortable, and I don’t appreciate that. Please keep comments like that to yourself.”
Other students looked around in confusion about what must have happened. I walked to the front of the class without addressing their odd and confused looks. Class began and ended as usual. Jack was quiet for the entire class period.
Having been in this situation and panicking over what to say in the moment made me realize the importance of saying something. While I’m an adult and can handle myself, young girls can still be vulnerable to such advances. Silence is never the answer. All people need to learn to respect one another and respect boundaries. I hope that this small interaction will stick with Jack and that he won’t make another person feel uncomfortable with what may or may not have been an innocent remark.
Teaching as Storytelling 