Left Behind

When I was about seven years old, my family was eating dinner at Red Lobster. When we were done, my mom, sister and I went to the restroom. We had driven separately for some reason so after dinner my brother went with my dad and my sister went with my mom. Yep. I was left behind. Somehow there was a mix-up, and each of my parents thought I went with the other. I came out of the bathroom back to the table, only to find my whole family gone. I looked around and saw no one. Being scared, young, and unsure of what to do, I went back to the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. I remember wishing for my favorite stuffed cat at the time, Stripes, to hold for comfort. Eventually my parents figured out what happened and came back for me. Now the running joke in my family is not to leave me behind when we’re at Red Lobster.

So, I know I’m “behind,” but I’ll get there eventually. Lately, this week and the past week I’ve been feeling pretty down about the job search and everything. I know I shouldn’t worry so much and be happy that we’re close to being done, but it is still hard. I still have the fear of being behind and I guess I’m still doing that! (Although for the most part, I really am on time!) I think it happens to all of us occasionally. For me, I’ve sort of felt this my whole life. I’m the youngest of three–the last to learn how to ride a bike, the last to learn how to drive, and the last to graduate from college. I’ve always wanted to catch up, but I realize now I can only go at my own pace. I’m a slow test taker and it takes me time to gather my thoughts, but in a way I think this is one of my skills as a teacher. I think through things and do my work thoroughly. I may not get a teaching job until later in the summer, but I’ve accepted that.

I definitely have a fear of my students being left behind. I want them to do well–to succeed–but I know that no matter how hard I try–some will get left behind. I will try my hardest, though. I will never give up on them because I care about their education and their future. Maybe I can even relate to them by sharing my own experience of being a slow worker. Everyone works at a different pace. After all, they say life is a marathon not a sprint, right?

I can honestly say that at the beginning of the semester I didn’t realize just how much I would need this blog. It has been a nice outlet to talk about both the good and not so good teaching experiences. So here’s a toast to a semester full of experiences and hopefully a future with plenty more!