It’s weird to think of myself as a teacher and still be a student at the same time, and it’s funny to think that I’m going through the same thing that my students are. I feel exhausted, overworked, annoyed, excited, overwhelmed, and the list goes on and on. Now, my students and I together have experienced four seemingly long years that lead us to the next step of our adult life (and they think they have Senioritis). It is interesting to be teaching seniors while you’re still one yourself. I think back to four years ago when I was in their position and realize that we are not all that different. I was a month away from graduating did not having a care in the world of how I was going to pass my classes because at that point it seemed futile. No, all I cared about was what my summer was going to look like. Now, it seems like I am doing all of those things with the added stress of finding a real job.
I have enjoyed being able to relate to my students on this level. I can be real with them and say, “I totally understand what you’re going through.” I can also tell them all about college and what to expect and talk it up to them, so they want to do better. Knowing I probably only have a couple more years of being that closely relatable to them, I must take what I can get now. Even though I like having that connection with my students, I am still looking forward to being able to make different connections with them that I feel like I didn’t really get a chance to do this year.
Having another teacher in the room, while it can be helpful, makes it difficult to know if the students are truly being genuine with you because they see you as the teacher or because the real teacher is in the classroom. It’s possible that it can be both. I also wonder about what will happen when I have my own classroom. Will I really know how to handle a sticky situation without my CT there to back me up? What if I get stuck on explaining something to the class? What if I won’t really know how to teach ninth graders? These are questions that go through my head at least once a day. Hopefully my future self will be able to answer all of these questions if someone chooses to hire me. 🙂
Teaching as Storytelling 