Like students like teacher

It’s weird to think of myself as a teacher and still be a student at the same time, and it’s funny to think that I’m going through the same thing that my students are. I feel exhausted, overworked, annoyed, excited, overwhelmed, and the list goes on and on.  Now, my students and I together have experienced four seemingly long years that lead us to the next step of our adult life (and they think they have Senioritis). It is interesting to be teaching seniors while you’re still one yourself. I think back to four years ago when I was in their position and realize that we are not all that different. I was a month away from graduating did not having a care in the world of how I was going to pass my classes because at that point it seemed futile. No, all I cared about was what my summer was going to look like. Now, it seems like I am doing all of those things with the added stress of finding a real job.

I have enjoyed being able to relate to my students on this level. I can be real with them and say, “I totally understand what you’re going through.” I can also tell them all about college and what to expect and talk it up to them, so they want to do better. Knowing I probably only have a couple more years of being that closely relatable to them, I must take what I can get now. Even though I like having that connection with my students, I am still looking forward to being able to make different connections with them that I feel like I didn’t really get a chance to do this year.

Having another teacher in the room, while it can be helpful, makes it difficult to know if the students are truly being genuine with you because they see you as the teacher or because the real teacher is in the classroom. It’s possible that it can be both. I also wonder about what will happen when I have my own classroom. Will I really know how to handle a sticky situation without my CT there to back me up? What if I get stuck on explaining something to the class? What if I won’t really know how to teach ninth graders? These are questions that go through my head at least once a day. Hopefully my future self will be able to answer all of these questions if someone chooses to hire me. 🙂

It clicked

I had the best experience 2 weeks ago before we left for spring break. What might that be? Well, I’m glad you asked.

Before I begin, I will give you some background information. Okay, so I teach mostly seniors in an Advanced Composition class. The title is kind of misleading because it’s not really an advanced level class, it is the only senior level ELA class. This class is mainly to prep students for the next step in their lives. The class is geared for the students to make a lot of personal connections where they can write things based on their experiences and perspectives. At least two times every unit, we’ll have a critical discussion in which the students get to voice their opinions on things that are looked at earlier in the week. The students come prepared with their written think piece that can be anything that they collected notes on throughout the week. It is the teacher’s job to facilitate those discussions by having prepared questions or prompts for the students to talk about. Throughout the discussion, the teacher will also validate speakers and connect what each student is saying in response to the teacher or their classmates. It’s really interesting to hear the different perspectives of the students and these discussions turn out beautifully if led in the right direction.

Over the course of the year, I have struggled with leading critical discussions. There are a lot of factors that go into how well a discussion will go. The students have needed to read and take notes; they have to be actively listening, and the teacher has to be able to act as a facilitator. Most of the time, there is always at least on of these things that go awry and it’s not always the students’ lack of trying (even though it’s clear when it is). I have to admit, I never realized how hard it would be for me be able to successfully get through a discussion and feel satisfied with the end result. There were days when I would dread having discussions because I didn’t want to seem like a failure or sound stupid because of something I said or didn’t say. But, don’t fret, the story has a happy ending.

Two weeks ago, I honestly surprised myself. It was 7^th period, one of my more difficult classes because it’s usually like pulling teeth to get them to talk during discussions. They were discussing the different books that they chose to read, and it just someway somehow, my head stopped trying to generate questions out of thin air, and it decided to listen to what the students were saying and truly treat this as an authentic discussion.  It’s almost like something just clicked with me and I was able to facilitate this amazing discussion. The students were into it, and I was into it, and my CT was blown away. It was the best discussion we’ve had all year and it was with the most difficult class.

And now I have realized that somethings really do just come with time.

Box of Chocolates

Today, My CT was gone and so it was a sub day. What a great day to reflect on teaching seniors all day for five class periods. Like Momma always said, “Seniors are like a box of Chocolates….you never know what you’re gonna get.” I’m sure you could also say that about other grade levels and classes, but I am mostly teaching seniors all day. Each class is going to be different, and it’s almost like they come in a variety pack. (Sorry, I don’t mean to make you hungry….I’m also hungry as I’m writing this). There is never going to be the same ones in each bunch, but their might be some trends and similarities between classes. I feel like all teachers say “Oh you do have an interesting mix!” They don’t realize that as they’re saying this that every class is going to be an interesting mix. Today is a Monday and my students are all tired and have weekend jet lag. I think it’s funny because they can come back the next day and be a completely different class.

Something that I noticed about my experiences from last semester to this semester….the batch of students that I thought I loved before and thought would be the class that was going to be my Reese’s cup goodness, but they end up being a bunch of Sour Patch Kids. The kids that I thought were going to be my tough class end up being my favorite class. Sometimes you feel like some should have been with a different batch and if only this batch includes this one or that one. During my student teaching experience, I have come to realize that even the sweetest ones will end up giving you cavities; the bitter ones aren’t so bad afterall, and there is always one that will surprise and make you change your mind about the way you think of them. With that being said, you have to take each day and each piece and make do with what you have and not complain about what you received. Each student deserves to learn and it’s our jobs to help them regardless of what batch they came in.

Hopefully my hungry, rambling metaphor made sense to all of the other teachers out there. At the end of the day, if you receive a box of chocolates maybe you’re doing something right. 🙂 

Furrowed Eyebrows

Furrowing eyebrows, placing my face into the depths of my palms, staring deeply at the computer that seems like it might start smoking any minute now, click-clacking joyfully at one point (in an almost rhythmic tune), then tapping the backspace button ever so slightly (more than a few times if we’re honest), dumping out the trash you can call my thoughts and realizing “oh, there was actually something valuable in there,” and then digging deep to find it again. Writing an essay, you say? Ha. I wish. No, in fact this is me for the past few weeks trying to come up with fun, engaging, modern-way-of thinking type lesson plans that, to my disappointment, never came falling out of the sky. “You’ll be happy that you did all of your work at the front of it,” they say. “It gets better with time,” they say, but does it really? I know it does. I just like being cynical every once in a while.

Actually, I’m quite proud of my accomplishments thus far. I’ve got a semi-cohesive unit plan in place, and to top it all off I can proudly say that it’s all my work, my thoughts, my effort. If you told me a year ago that I would be finding the perfect text for designing a meaningful student-centered unit that included truly unique lesson plans, you would be running away trying to get away from the crazy, hysterical lady.  But now that I’m nearing the end of getting every little detail of my unit plan all typed up, I think about where I was a year ago and ask myself, “What was I so worried about?” I’ve got this! It may not  be perfect, and I know there has got to be something I missed, but I think I can do it. I think I can do this whole being a teacher thing. I know there will be many challenges to come in the future, but I’ve got to remember that I have the chance to do something I love every day. Even if I do screw up, I know that I will get a second chance because my students love me and they know I love them and knowing that makes everything okay.