The Most Dramatic Post Yet: Why Student Teaching May Seem Just Like The Bachelor But Isn’t

Disclaimer: Sometimes we all need a little trash TV mental break

While the twenty something of us in the 2017-2018 cohort have been on this journey to becoming teachers, twenty something women have been on a journey to finding love. As Chris Harrison says, “it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before.”

If you have never watched The Bachelor before and/or have never snuck a peek at the tabloids when checking out at a grocery store which love to talk about the show (99% of us have), let me help you out a bit. Imagine this scenario. Twenty something women put their lives on hold to chase after the same guy. Before you begin commenting about how wrong this is, trust me…I agree. Throughout the short process, the eligible bachelor eliminates women until he is left with two ladies. The end results in him giving a final rose and an engagement ring to the lucky (loosely speaking) winner. Along the way, women leave because they just aren’t “there for the right reasons” or “didn’t realize that the process would be this hard.” In between the “shocking reveals” are tears, drama, and cat-fights—all of which millions of viewers watch unfold each week.

Let me paint another picture for you. Twenty something pre-service teachers put their lives on hold to chase after a dream of changing students’ lives and pursuing a career in education. Before you begin commenting about how wrong this is, let me be the first to tell you that you’re wrong. Throughout the (relatively) short process, some of us have second thoughts. Here’s where things are different. The end doesn’t result in a final rose being given to one lucky person, but instead in all of us graduating (hopefully with jobs).

With the pressure of graduating, passing the GACE, finishing edTPA, and searching for a job, things start to get intense. In a way, we are all fighting for a job as we embark on this life changing journey together. As the not-so-beloved Bachelor season comes to a close along with our student teaching, I felt that this would be an appropriate time to discuss how The Bachelor is not and shouldn’t even closely resemble our student teaching experience (even though it may seem like it does).

1. It may seem like we are all waiting for the final rose, but we aren’t. The contestants of the show live in this uncertainty. There isn’t just another woman but other women (please notice the plural noun). They are at the mercy of whatever the bachelor at the time feels is right. While we are all competing (so-to-speak) for a job, there won’t just be one job. While it may start to get a little dicey as the job search unfolds itself, this isn’t a show like The Bachelor where only one of us wins.

2. It’s okay to not feel a connection. All of the contestants are competing against one another. The winner of the show has the strongest connection. Student teaching is nothing like this. There will be certain students, teachers, and schools that we just don’t connect with. Not having a connection doesn’t mean you aren’t a good teacher—it means you’re finding out what works and what doesn’t work for you.

3. Dr. Birmingham Is NOT Chris Harrison, but he is pretty similar. Not only is Chris Harrison part host of the show, but he is also part therapist, part matchmaker, and part friend to all of the participants. Dr. Birmingham may not be setting us up with a future husband or wife, but he is giving us a lot of the tools we need for the future. He isn’t just an advisor, but our troubleshooter, therapist, and mentor.

4. There is not a first impression rose. The Bachelor is known for that first impression rose; the rose people fight for the first night which establishes their street-creds. During student teaching, we all have to fight for our own first impressions that are unique to our experience. Here is the catch: we don’t just have a first impression rose but a year-long impression rose also known as a job recommendation. Without that job recommendation from a collaborating teacher, you may struggle a bit to secure a future job.

5. Two-on-ones aren’t bad. The Bachelor is infamously known for the dreaded two-on-one dates—where two women go on one date with the same man. I think the only thing more awkward than that would be forgetting to put pants on before teaching and finally realizing that you were pant-less after two hours of instruction. I’d like to take a second to compare the two-on-one to a co-teaching model. When you find the right co-teacher, the job actually becomes more fun. Just because there are two teachers in one room does not mean your ability to teach is being questioned or at risk of being taken away. By the end of this student teaching process, we should all be professional co-teachers because we have been with at least one other teacher the entire time.

6. If you aren’t here to make friends, you probably should change majors. There is usually one girl in the bachelor house who “isn’t here to make friends.” This major—this profession really—is a relational job. To teach students means that we need to stay sane and remain effective, something I believe is done through relationships built and fostered among other teachers. While some of the bachelor contestants may be able to get away with that, not making friends may be what ruins you as a teacher.

7. We get a date card every day (minus weekends). Instead of having to wait around for our time to build a connection, we have a date card every day. This is called student teaching. Each day, we have the chance to connect, practice, and spend time with what may or may not be a big part of our future. We don’t have to wait around hoping that our name is on a date card—we all have our individual placements five days a week.

8. Don’t completely throw yourself out there. While women on the show seem to throw themselves at one guy, I don’t think the same thing should be done with student teaching and searching for a future job. Just like Amy Poehler once said, “Treat your career like a bad boyfriend. Here’s the thing. Your career won’t take care of you. It won’t call you back or introduce you to its parents.” While it is important for us to put ourselves out there as new teachers, a little distance keeps us sane and (I would argue) more marketable.

9. Eat food and take care of yourself. Contestants don’t seem to touch the food on their plates during a one-on-one date. I’m sure there are some logistics about eating when being hooked to a microphone (no one wants to hear someone chewing food into a microphone), but we aren’t hooked up to microphones while student teaching. With that said, taking lunch to school is definitely worth it (something that I didn’t do at all my first semester of student teaching).

10. Crying isn’t always the right thing to do in every situation. It seems like most contestants shed more than a few tears. While student teaching definitely presents some tearful/freak out moments, crying doesn’t solve much. There are moments that are inescapable, but whining and crying about every issue sets people up for burnout in the profession. Contestants on the show may be able to get by navigating a sail boat in the ocean of their own tears, but pre-service teachers don’t have that opportunity. Instead of wasting all energy on negative aspects of the journey, taking action in things that we can control is a better use of the little energy we do have.

While student teaching is absolutely not like The Bachelor or any trash TV for that matter, there are quite a few tears shed and monumental changes in our individual lives. I believe by the end of the most dramatic journey yet (YCE 2017-2018), Dr. Birmingham will be able to utter the same words Chris Harrison does after every rose ceremony, “take a moment and say your final goodbyes.” But instead of us saying goodbye to a bachelor, we will be saying goodbye to one another as we launch out into our individual futures as English educators…a journey I cannot wait to embark on.

 

“Fully Involved”

I naively envisioned student teaching requiring maybe 25 hours a week of effort. Being only 23 years old, I pulled off meeting the needs of my internship, while being a furniture salesman. My newfound, livable wage of 40k/year transformed me into a real adult. I no longer existed in the ghetto of cramped student dormitories. I evolved into a man that had his pizza delivered to his house.

Unfortunately, working a second job is forbidden at Exorbitant Furniture. They own all of your time. I was on break one evening and had lesson plans scattered about the table for my American Lit Course. My boss, Ms. Illiteracy, walked in and noticed the paper trail:“What is this mess on my table? *Crumples folder* Teenagers are snowflakes. Which job is putting food on your table?”

She did not apologize or step down; it just became awkward.

I began filling downtime with designing my next unit and reading parent emails: “Lana came home thrilled about winning your essay contest. I did not know she was talented at something.”

I adore this career where I can make even neglectful parents see the value in their children. But why wait? I already had the job! I opened a Google Doc and began typing.

I hand-delivered my resignation letter, stamped with retribution, to Ms. Illiteracy: “I thought about your comments on being a teacher,” I said as I dropped it on her desk.

My students deserve 100% of my time. I now look myself in the mirror with honor.
-Mr. Harley.

How To Move On When It Just Isn’t Working

Joe and I were in a serious relationship for a number of years. When we met, I had no intention of getting involved. I honestly thought that Joe was overrated. I’d heard all of the rumors. People either loved him or hated him. I’ll be honest, he had a reputation. Once people spent enough time with him, they were hooked. I knew I’d be stronger than the masses. Joe wasn’t going to break me. As I tried to avoid him, he somehow found every single way to show up. I’d run into him in the mornings and as I ran errands–literally everywhere.

Anytime I saw him, I’d avoid contact. I used every excuse in the book. It’s not you, it’s me…I’m just not ready for something like this…You’re not my type…and my personal favorite…I’m just not that into you. Nothing worked, so I found myself caving.

I kept it casual at first because I didn’t want feelings to get too strong. We saw each other once a week at the most. That only lasted so long. I soon got so attached that I felt I needed him to even function. If I wasn’t with Joe, I was thinking about Joe.

Our relationship soon turned into a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute we loved each other, and then the next minute we were fighting. One of his exes reached out to me–she said “run while you can.” I started having my doubts. He seemed so great. Joe could make you feel like you were capable of anything as long as he remained by your side.

The days Joe wasn’t around were hard and long. I couldn’t take it. There were days when I would stay in bed because I couldn’t function without him.

My friends sat me down one day and told me that this relationship needed to stop. They let me know that life was not meant to be lived being this dependent on someone as terrible as Joe. I was in denial. I let them know Joe and I were fine because I truly believed we were. My friends decided to challenge me to something because I just wasn’t understanding what they were saying.

In January of 2018, I was challenged to give up caffeine. Yes…Joe is a cup of coffee.

Queue the groaning, eye-roll, and sighs.

I had never truly been hooked on caffeine until student teaching began back in August. I used to be the person you wanted to punch in the face in the morning. You know what I’m talking about. The person who sings with the birds, cooks an elaborate breakfast, exercises, and usually reads for fun…all before 7:00am. I’ve never been the person that needs coffee in order to wake up. But between edTPA and early morning commutes, I found myself needing that extra pick-me-up.

And as my caffeine-less mind reflects upon teaching and coffee and everything good in the world, I think I’ve found a connection. Too much of anything isn’t great, and the excess of whatever that thing is can turn into a bad habit. Five cups of coffee a day isn’t the best habit to have (before you say anything, I know five cups is a lot). I’d argue that five worksheets in one class period is also a terrible habit.

Teaching routines and practices are a lot like a bad caffeine addiction. It starts out harmless, and it honestly feels good. Then that new thing becomes the new normal. The tough reality of habits is the fact that they are hard to break. The breaking of a bad habit takes work, takes time, and usually involves a bit of pain and discomfort along the way. As I watch veteran teachers doing their thing, I’ve found myself making comments like “I’ll never do that” and “they don’t need to teach.” As I continue to discover my teacher identity, I’m realizing that making those comments may be the most dangerous thing to do. As Justin Bieber says, “never say never.”

Again…queue the eye-roll and internal groaning.

I told myself I wouldn’t drink coffee, but when I started drinking coffee, my life felt like it was getting easier. If I promise to not do x, y, or z while teaching, I may very well end up doing those things because they make my life feel easier.

Just like I had to have a tough (and humorous) conversation about my caffeine addiction, I think we (as educators) need to have similar conversations about our teaching practices. We need to ask ourselves what we are dependent on. We need to evaluate what is healthy and what needs to go. We need to be okay with change, even when it hurts.

Do I still drink coffee? I’d be lying if I said no. I may or may not be drinking a GRANDE from Starbucks at the moment. The difference now is that I’m not dependent on caffeine. Studies show that coffee is actually good for you. Just like a little coffee is okay, I do believe that a worksheet, workday, independent work, and any other questionable teaching practice every now and then is okay too. The moment when a worksheet day becomes our new normal as teachers is when we probably (really) need to have that tough conversation.

So, how do you move on from teaching practices when they just aren’t working? How do you get rid of those bad habits and inaccurate beliefs about students and learning?

Community.

I most definitely did a WebMD search on how to get rid of a caffeine addiction, but I don’t believe teaching habits are broken by weaning off of worksheets or quitting things cold-turkey. I believe lasting change and transformation for educators happens within professional communities.

It’s organizations like NCTE and GCTE. It’s professional development days. It’s those teaching friends you make in the hallways of your school. It’s this cohort. These communities are the ones that allow us to break those bad habits. Why? They demand accountability. They offer new perspectives. They hold friendships. They inspire creativity. They keep education alive. They call you out when you can’t see what’s wrong.

But most importantly…they believe in the same thing–that education still changes lives.